My Hidden Chimp: From the best-selling author of The Chimp Paradox

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The neuroscience of the mind is simplified for children to understand and then use to their advantage. It might help to tell him how much he is loved and that whatever he feels or however he acts you still love him and are still right behind him. This in itself can help some children to settle.

The fact that the chimp is a more narrow framing than the elephant might help assuage some worries but I’m not sure. There is a concerted effort to describe how our chimps can sometimes be helpful – e.g. our chimp helps us to have fun and warns us of danger. The often-humourous presentation of the chimps also helps with appreciating the chimp. As a concept, it’s clearly got huge appeal (Peters’ first book, The Chimp Paradox, sold over a million copies) but how does this model work with children? How can children (and adults working with children) tame their chimp and form helpful habits? He has also worked with Ronnie O’Sullivan which was where I first noticed his work. Prior to working with Peters, O’Sullivan struggled with drink, drugs and depression but in recent years has turned this around, giving Peters a lot of the credit. They include: - Smiling- The importance of talking through your feelings- Learning how to say sorry- Knowing how to ask for helpBy also explaining the developing 'chimp' brain in children, he shows us how 10 habits can help children to understand and manage their emotions and behaviour.

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When I went to see him speak four years ago, most of the audience in the 1000-seater auditorium, looked as if they’d breeze through a triathlon. Lean and rangy with grey hair, now 65, Peters himself is a record holder in his age range for the 100m, 200m and 400m. He speaks fast in his soft Middlesborough accent, his teaching skills honed from years of practice. He is Chair of the Anti-Doping and Medical Committee for World Masters Athletics and is the CEO of his own charitable company, Chimp Management. He is also the author of the bestselling personal development book The Chimp Paradox which has sold over 1.4 million copies since it was first published in 2012. Neuroscience says it takes three to ten weeks, with lots of practice, to ingrain a new habit. ‘At any stage in your life you can start to challenge habits and work on them and you can see adaptations in the brain,’ says Peters. Look at the list to see which ones you need to work on… 10 healthy mind habits My Hidden Chimp is an effective and powerful new educational book that offers parents, teachers and carers some ideas and thoughts on how to help children to develop healthy habits for life. When we are around two years old, a new system comes into the equation. As children we start asking “why?” We begin to get facts established and, by age four, use those facts in our decision-making. This is our “human” system: it’s the part of our brain that considers, rationalises, and empathises. 3. The Computer

I don’t know the age of your son. The first point is for you to accept that this situation is time limited. He will settle, so you are experiencing a temporary but important stage of his development. We don’t look at our friends and like them for what they achieve, Steve says, we like them for who they are. We should measure our own success in the same way. Are you a positive person who can motivate others? Are you kind? Do you have integrity? If you are measuring success against your values – rather than what car you own or how much you earn – then building self-esteem is in your own hands. 6. Spend ten minutes every day reflecting on whether you’re meeting your values However, the book also presents us as having to put our chimps in a box when they are misbehaving. The examples given in the book are of circumstances where the chimp is having a negative effect on our lives (not sharing, telling lies to parents, being unkind to friends). I’ll grant that there are edge cases where these actions might be beneficial but, especially for a child, the advice to prevent our chimps from doing these things overall seems like the right way to go. Taking the metaphor literally In addition to the examples, there are exercises throughout the book, for instance listing times where you’ve acted in a way that you wish you hadn’t. These help with applying the lessons and to building commitment to act on the lessons. Section 1 - Chimp model note that there is a companion book to My Hidden Chimp called The Silent Guides which is aimed more at parents but which I haven’t read] The AuthorMost importantly, young people can better understand that how they are feeling is not who they are but something that can be managed.