Is there any difference between the Greyhound terminal and a lobster with b**bs? One of them is a crusty bus station and the other is a busy crustacean. A male whale and a female whale see a fishing boat with a large harpoon. The male whale recognized the ship that caught his dad whale a year ago. He asks the female whale “let’s both get under the boat, blow air out of our air holes, and it might topple the ship.” They go ahead and do it, with success: the fish boat sinks. However, the seamen from the boat manage to swim away, almost reaching the shore. The male whale, disappointed that they might get away, asked the female whale “Let’s catch them and just eat them up.” But this time, the female whale doesn’t want to join in: “Look, I did the blow job just like you asked, but I really don’t want to swallow the seamen”. Two men broke into a drugstore and stole all the Viagra. The police put out an alert to be on the lookout for the two hardened criminals. I’d like to find out the reason why Snow White, who is an iconic Disney character, was shut out of Disneyland.

I have a big headache. I hear the best cure for headaches is sex. What do you say we go upstairs and work out a remedy? All day long it’s in and out. I discharge loads from my shaft. Both men and women go down on me. What am I? My girlfriend thought I’d be a pushover in bed, and wouldn’t you know it, she had me pegged from the start. What is the common point between sex and a game of bridge? Even if you do not have a good partner, it’s essential to have a good hand.

What’s the difference between anal and oral sex? Oral sex makes your day. Anal makes your hole weak.

Sex is like playing Bridge – if you don’t have a good partner, you better have a good hand.” – Peter Kay

The only thing I can offer to put ladies at ease is that I am of no sexual threat whatsoever. I’m 42 years of age, I literally have to hit it with nettles. Sex with me these days is akin to thumbing marshmallows into the anus of a cat. My wife is amazing, she never says no to a shag, has great tits and even swallows. But her bird collecting is starting to get out of control.