The ADHD Effect on Marriage: Understand and Rebuild Your Relationship in Six Steps

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This technique is particularly useful if you and your partner are faced with an ongoing issue that you can’t seem to resolve. It will offer you both a deeper understanding of each other’s perspectives, which you can combine with empathy to determine a mutually beneficial solution.

Create a plan to reach long-term goals for your relationship that aligns with who you are as individuals Orlov's work is a beacon of light and hope, offering strategies that help couples feel happier and more satisfied." Nancy Ratey, EdM, MCC, SCAC, author of The Disorganized Mind: Coaching Your ADHD Brain to Take Control of Your Time, Tasks, and Talents

Consider treatments to manage ADHD characteristics. Medications, skills training, and psychotherapy can help manage different aspects of adult ADHD, such as impulsivity, disorganization, and poor motivation. Encourage your partner to consider talking to their doctor about steps they can take to manage some of these characteristics. Overview: A team of ADHD and ADHD relationship experts ready to help you turn your relationship around Will help validate and clarify relationship struggles. It will help clarify that you’re not crazy as the none ADHD spouse

Step 4: Improving Communication - communication techniques that work when ADHD is present (p. 165. Audio 7. Kindle loc. 2744)Next, ask your partner what drew them to you initially. What qualities made them fall for you? What do they cherish in you? Which of those characteristics do you feel proud of? This will help you reconnect with who you are beyond any unhelpful behavioral patterns that have developed. If you want a book that will help you finally understand why your spouse acts in certain ways and how you can make their lives and your own life better going forward then read it. If your spouse also reads it, great. But even if only you read it, you're enlightening yourself. Secondly, some of the advice was sound, but other suggestions were obviously not being provided by a professional. I just finished the book, so the first that comes to mind is her suggestion that people with ADHD might go to bed with their spouse for "cuddle time" and then stay in bed on their phone or laptop until they're ready for bed. Anyone with trouble sleeping knows that you should never look at a screen before bed, especially while you're IN bed. The fact that the author is not actually licensed in any way but is just "experienced" definitely comes through sometimes. The book has left the feeling that people with ADHD should avoid relationships all together and spend life alone. (Based on the first 4 hours of the same message) Founder of ADHDmarriage.com (2007), and ADHD & Marriage Consulting, Melissa has spent years helping couples impacted by ADHD improve their relationships and learn to thrive. She provides seminars, support groups, private couples consulting, in-depth information, professional training, and more.

I am so grateful this book is Finally on audiobook. I have a hard copy and have had it for several years now. I've been married for nearly 11 years. The beginning of the book almost exactly described the downfall my marriage has been going through. The fact that Melissa so perfectly describes what I've been through and does so with logic and compassion. She does a wonderful job explaining in a way that keeps me from feeling inept as a spouse.Trying harder doesn’t create change. If you want to salvage your relationship, you need to do something radically different. Then, Alex will briefly respond to Beth’s concern. For instance, he might tell her that he’s only joking, and that he often worries afterward that she’s taken what he’s said the wrong way but that she shouldn’t be concerned because he doesn’t mean it. Beth then mirrors what Alex has said, followed by her response to this – perhaps that she still feels hurt, even if Alex doesn’t mean what he says. By opening up the conversation in this way, each partner begins to understand how their behavior impacts the other person. Typically, they’ll then identify for themselves how they could try to moderate their behavior to avoid hurt and conflict next time. My personal situation is likely impacting this review a lot - as is the fact that I listened to this as an audiobook. I almost gave it a 3 star review because of the last fifth of the book finally giving me some useful things to use to strengthen my relationship with my husband - but it was too little too late to recover my opinion of the book. To capitalize on this and inject some fun into your relationship, do something silly together, like going to an amusement park, or having a silly string fight. Spontaneity is a gift that ADHD brings, one that often draws people to those with ADHD in the first place. Make space for that spontaneity in your relationship by factoring in time together that isn’t overly planned. One helpful consistent reminder from the first half of the book is how helpful getting consistent exercise is for people with ADHD so I've taken that too heart and prioritized working out - it's made me more likely to want to keep doing stuff at work and home (but I'm getting a little too hyperfocused on it since it's new and exciting again - story of my life).

As consultants, we focus on what needs to be done. Yes, that often means suggested ‘homework’ between sessions to help explore strategies we think might work for you. Even when dealing with your emotional issues, we are keeping forward motion in mind: What do your feelings mean for defining what actions you and your partner might take? How do we (client and consultant) keep heading towards your most important goals? Yes, assuming that person is available. We will also make suggestions, as well. Ready to get going? Here's the form that gets you started. Fees Not quite finished yet, but I highly recommend this book to any couples who have or suspect they might have ADHD affecting the relationship. This book is a must for you. So much of what I read was spot on scary. But after scary, there is hope because she gives several ideas on how to best handle your relationship with an ADHD spouse. Read it and weep, and laugh." Melissa Orlov is the founder of ADHDmarriage.com, and ADHD & Marriage Consulting. She is also the author of two award-winning books on the impact of ADHD in relationships - including The ADHD Effect on Marriage (rev. 2020) which in 2023 was called 'the relationship bible for couples impacted by ADHD' by ADDitude Magazine. A marriage consultant, Melissa helps ADHD-affected couples from around the world re-balance their relationships and learn to thrive through her seminars, books, and consulting. She teaches mental health professionals how to work with couples impacted by ADHD and leads a team of consultants who specialize in this field. Melissa blogs for PsychologyToday.com and at www.adhdmarriage.com, where she hosts a large community of adults learning about ADHD in relationships. She has been interviewed by many, including the New York Times, CNN, Today, and US News and World Report. You can find her at ADHDmarriage.com.

Section 2 - Rebuilding Your Relationship in Six Steps

One method couples can adopt to support communication and connection is learning conversations. This mirroring exercise facilitates sharing ideas and needs with each other without any suggestion of problem-solving. Rather, it’s about understanding why a particular activity or scenario is difficult or painful. Moreover, the author spends much of the time sharing what other authors have written. I hope I will at least get 2 helpful book suggestions from reading this book. Melissa Orlov is the author of two award-winning books on the impact of ADHD in relationships - The ADHD Effect on Marriage (2010) and The Couple's Guide to Thriving with ADHD (2014, with Nancie Kohlenberger) and is considered one of the foremost authorities on the topic. A marriage consultant, Melissa helps ADHD-affected couples from around the world rebalance their relationships and learn to thrive. She also teaches mental health professionals about effective marriage therapy for couples impacted by ADHD. Orlov blogs for Psychology Today and at www.adhdmarriage.com, where she also hosts a large community of adults learning about ADHD in relationships. She has been interviewed by the New York Times, CNN, Today, US News and World Report, CB Melissa Orlov is the author of two award-winning books on the impact of ADHD in relationships - The ADHD Effect on Marriage (2010) and The Couple's Guide to Thriving with ADHD (2014, with Nancie Kohlenberger) and is considered one of the foremost authorities on the topic. A marriage consultant, Melissa helps ADHD-affected couples from around the world rebalance their relationships and learn to thrive. She also teaches mental health professionals about effective marriage therapy for couples impacted by ADHD. Orlov blogs for Psychology Today and at www.adhdmarriage.com, where she also hosts a large community of adults learning about ADHD in relationships. She has been interviewed by the New York Times, CNN, Today, US News and World Report, CBS, AOL, the American Psychological Association Monitor and many others. Ms. Orlov is a cum laude graduate of Harvard College.) The Surprising Ways ADHD Symptoms Affect Your Marriage - 12 patterns you must know (p. 30. Audio 3a&b. Kindle loc. 619)