The 69 best dick jokes: Funny joke book

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Why did the mechanic ignore the advice to “Don’t be silly, wrap your willy”? Because he believed in the power of a tight seal!

What did the teacher say to her students? “Don’t be silly, wrap your pencils, Willies! We don’t want any graphite messes!” I was in Russia listening to a stand-up comedian making fun of Putin. The jokes weren’t that good, but I liked the execution. Mohammed tees up first, hits it nice, and straight onto the green. Moses tees up with a nice clean shot, and his ball also lands a few yards from the hole. What did the zookeeper say to the monkey? “Don’t be silly, wrap your tail, Willy! We don’t want any swinging accidents!”The father looks at him disapprovingly, “I’m ashamed of you! At your I age I never lied to my father!”. The detector beeps. Two men broke into a drugstore and stole all the Viagra. The police put out an alert to be on the lookout for the two hardened criminals. What did the gardener say to his rake? “Don’t be silly, wrap your tines, Willy! We don’t want any garden scratches!”

Why don't girls have willys... A little boy came running into the kitchen an declared, "Mom, now I know why girls don't have willys! They fall off, and I found yours under your pillow." He needs to cash a cheque. As he approaches the cashier he says, "Good morning, could you please cash this cheque for me?"Apparently Bruce Willis is only going to concentrate on action films from now on... because you know what they say about old habits... Obviously, all of the heads of government and religious leaders want to talk with the aliens, so a meeting with our new visitors is scheduled. When it is time for the Pope to speak, he asks, “Do you know about our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ?” What did the surgeon say to his scalpel? “Don’t be silly, wrap your blade, Willy! We don’t want any accidental cuts!” Jesus then stood up and jumped out of the boat, and started walking on the lake. But after a few steps of walking, he then fell into the water and started drowning. Moses seeing this, rushed to save Jesus and get him out of the water. When Jesus was finally saved, Moses, looking confused, then asked him, “Hey, what happened? How did you fall into the water??”