While this is occasionally set up like a self-help book, it's not, really. It's one woman's raw, completely open and unflinching, look at the path she's been on since she lost the greatest constant and support in her life. I especially appreciate the chapter she has on how sometimes, even the rest of your (dysfunctional, fragmented) family can be of no help whatsoever, which makes your friends and community even more important. All of this! I wish I had read this a year ago. My husband died suddenly in his sleep while we were on vacation. I woke up to what I thought was snoring but in reality he was gasping for air. Talk about guilt! I was hitting him telling him to roll over and by the time I realized what was going on it was too late. I’m also suffering with PTSD because I found his cold ridged body, dry blood coming out of his nose. When I found him he have been dead for several hours. It happened during the day, he worked nights and that Friday he went to sleep around midday and I found him at 9:00 pm because I went to wake him up so he could get ready for work. It was a horrific scene, one I play in my mind over and over. He was only 42 and I feel that he was snatched from us, our six year old daughter misses him so much and it makes my pain worse because I feel helpless at times. I am grateful for all of the A.D.E.’s, (After death experiences), I have had confirming she is with God in Heaven.

You will have to face your emotions eventually. You can avoid them for a while, but they will catch up with you in the end. My parents, who lost their first son all those years ago, shells of the people they once were. Who are we now? Who are we to each other? Are we even still a family any more? All I imagine, all day, every day, is losing them. Then who will I be?

Coping with Loss Every Day (Bereavement or Grief Gift)

If one of you has been wounded in the heart by the words or deeds of another, during the past year, forgive him now; that in purity of heart and loving pardon, you may feast in happiness, and arise, renewed in spirit. – Abdu’l-Baha, Vignettes from the Life of Abdu’l-Baha, p. 49. There will be pressure from others to move on, even minutes or hours after a death, and this can lead to regrets”. We all grieve differently, which can create strain and confusion between family members and friends.

years later I hadn’t realized I was carrying around guilt from following through with my dad’s wishes of disconnecting him from life support. In a simple conversation with my daughter the guilt was lifted. You see God is the giver and taker of life. All of our days are numbered. The moment we are born we start aging and the process of death begins. Due to sin in the world, other horrible things like disease, tragedies, accidents may intervene and shorten our lives even more. But God never leaves us nor forsakes us. I for one am eternally grateful. I guess I was expecting the book to follow the title more. I haven’t lost my parents yet, but their health is failing and my dad especially. I’d hoped for some thoughts on what to do *before* you lose a parent. In fact, the book is more a description of coping mechanisms for after the fact. That’s fantastic, but the title was misleading. New Release in 1960s History of the U.S. and 2020 Finalist Sarton Women's Literary Award for Nonfiction with Special Recognition The grieving process.Ty Alexander of Gorgeous in Greyis one of the top bloggers today with a wonderful personal connection with her readers. This is never more apparent than when she speaks about her mother. The pain of loss for mourners is universal. Yet, we all grieve differently. For Alexander, the grieving process is one that she lives with day-to-day. Learning from her pain, she connects with her readers on a deeply emotional level in her book, Things I Wish I Knew Before My Mom Died: Coping with Loss Every Day. From grief counseling to sharing insightful true stories, Alexander offers comfort, reassurance, and hope in the face of sorrow. A beautiful part of grief I experienced is I got to see and feel a different facet of God’s personality. I got to see how we aren’t left on our own to grieve. I felt God’s presence while my dad was dying. I warmly felt His loving arms embrace me as a comforting heavenly Father. I had never felt that from my earthly father. I can’t tell you how good that felt. What was awesome is that a song started playing on the radio when that happened. It’s called “Held” by Natalie Grant. It talks about how it feels to be held by our Lord.Some of these statements were made as if they were absolute truths, and it made me wonder if the person who wrote this list had any knowledge of contemporary grief theory and counseling. I would strongly urge you to rewrite the following statements. It can be as simple as inserting the words “sometimes” or “can be” or “for some people” so that you’re not making blanket statements as if they apply to everybody in every situation. For what it’s worth, here are my comments: It’s ok to be ok with their choice…when they decide that death is better than being in unresolved pain…when no matter how many times they tried to get help, to get well, to change, to not disappoint their loved ones…and they just couldn’t. It doesn’t mean we don’t love them, or that we love them less, or that their life, and death, didn’t matter, just because we are able to say, “I know you were tired of struggling. I know you were hurting and tired. I know you felt this was the best choice. I know you thought we would be ok if you did this.” Mind you, *others* will not be ok with you being ok about this. They won’t understand…how could you possibly accept this “choice?”