This ground-breaking book is even more relevant today, as readers confront new, urgent challenges with greater self-awareness, than it was when it first entered the national conversation over 35 years ago.

My criticisms would be that it seems very dated in places, and she does like to use the word "God" when I would've preferred her to use Higher Power, however, that should not diminish the significance or importance of this book. A codependent person is one who has let another person's behavior affect him or her, and who is obsessed with controlling that person's behavior. Lately, I've been hearing the word codependent used a lot, and most people are not using it correctly (for example, I've heard several people use it to describe couples who can't go out without each other, and that's not really what it means). Millions of readers have trusted Melody’s words of wisdom and guidance because she knows firsthand what they’re going through. Per visą knygą ji dalina patarimus, kaip atsiriboti nuo kitų žmonių problemų, kaip rūpintis savimi, kaip išlįsti iš nuolatinės kaltės ir savigraužos, kurios būna nemotyvuotos, nulemtos to per didelio (per didelio = kai jau tu dėl to kankiniesi, o ne džiaugiesi) susitelkimo į kitus.

Be clear and upfront about the nature of the content so people are honestly informed about what they are getting into. As far as I'm concerned, if anyone tries to tell you you need God, 12 Steps and Higher Power to heal, then I suggest running the other way because they are likely attempting some form of evangelical conversion - a form of violence completely antithetical to healing. It is possible to communicate both of these at the same time - many people manage it easily and respectfully. We adopt a policy of keeping our hands off other people's rsponsibilities and tend to our own instead.

I could have done without so many theistic references, and even though the author states that these references are spiritual but not religious, they felt religious. It’s a one-day-at-a-time process that can be quite exciting – when we take steps toward recovery, we feel an instant burst of freedom. For anyone who has a history of alcoholism in their family of origin or going through alcoholism with a partner this is a MUST read. Although I wasn't directly affected by addictive issues in the family, growing up a triplet created some of the exact same self-sacrificing behavioral patterns that are talked about in this book.Nor am I discounting the experiences of those who feel they benefit from it - recovery and benefit are valuable however they come to any individual. Though I may not struggle with an abusive alcoholic, I still struggle with the internal doubts and feelings of self worthlessness. This book very gently shows that your not a failure but you do need to work on yourself not the other person. I never realized the extent to which my relationship warped me, to some level my fault for allowing it to happen, but the book also presented a lot of ways to come to an understanding of what it means to be a codependent and also ways to combat and correct behavior.

That’s because, just like alcoholism, codependency is a progressive condition that doesn’t get better on its own; it only gets worse. I think I would have more acceptance of this position if it was made explicitly clear on the cover of the book that it is coming from a 12 Step angle. In time, you’ll learn to better cope with your problems, trust yourself, and actually begin to feel your own feelings instead of someone else’s. This ground-breaking book is even more relevant today, as readers confront new, urgent challenges with greater self-awareness than when it first entered the national conversation over 35 years ago. This is a real must for anyone who is trying to change the life of another (especially family member)and failing miserably.

I realized that I can make decisions and not have to worry if my opinion is what other people may think or want. Now, I have never been a big advocate for self-improvement books, but I have to say that this book was very enlightening. I was thinking of "co-dependency" in a more generic sense — say, the way a married couple can be enmeshed and lose their boundaries with each other. The author also seems to have a very poor view of therapy, and I didn't appreciate the cavalier way she dismisses it, implying it's not as helpful as twelve-step plans.

It wasn't anything I didn't already know, but it was presented in a way that helped me regain a sense of balance. After the death of my daughter and my wife's descent back into the trappings of alcoholism I thought that I was doing everything right.Nėra jis labai blogas, visur eina suprast apie ką kalbama, bet vietomis smarkiai nesušukuotas / nedaredaguotas. While I found the listing of codependent behaviours very useful and applicable, I couldn't find anything else in the book particularly useful to me. They will be able to sense inherently that their boundaries are being infringed on in a subtle and destructive manner. I think the title of this book should have reflected the fact it was primarily geared towards alcoholics and/or children of alcoholics.