Not an author problem at all, but still a big complaint: the Kindle version has a nasty issue—way too many times, spaces are missing between words. Believe me, this gets super annoying in no time. I’m hoping this is only a problem in the advance copy. A fantastic story, with clever story-telling, fabulous characters and a jaw-dropping plot. One of my top reads of the year” - Rona Halsall, author of One Mistake

Relational therapy, which asks individuals to consider the ways others have shaped them and the way they’ve shaped others, seeks to move people beyond this individualistic mindset. And it’s particularly valuable for couples. When two individuals can set aside their you-and-me mindset and prioritize growing their relationship, they can create rewarding and lasting intimacy. I come home from work at my very important job. Sal has been at home all day, trying to work out what the twist is. 'Sal, did you work out what the twist is?' I say. 'Oh yes!' says Sal and Sal is quite defiant and has not learned Sal's lesson properly which makes me angry. 'I am angry,' I say to Sal and then I punch Sal on the nose. Once we move beyond individualistic myths like survival of the fittest, and wake up to our interdependence, it dawns on us that the willful denial of connection has consequences both to those who are denied and to the deniers. The cost of disconnection is disconnection. If us consciousness unifies, you and me consciousness fragments—our communities, our personal relationships, our very souls. As we will explore in some detail, the legacy of individualism is loneliness… Every time he slipped up, Dan reminded himself, It’s not you that’s bad, it’s your behavior. That’s true for your adaptive strategies too, by the way: you’re not a bad person, you’re just behaving badly.But a warning to those who like to be completely blindsided---don't read another single review for this book until after you've read it!!***** The big message of this book is basically this: don't be afraid to do your own thing. Unfortunately the book comes with the conceit that children don't have the will power to think for themselves or push boundaries. That's not been the case with most of the children I've met through my own two. Graces twin sister Hope works for Sight Unseen and has been trying to get her to put her app in forever. They are now turning 30 and had promised if they weren't in a relationship by thirty they would promise to go out there so Hope filled out the app for Grace and submitted it. Of course Danny and Grace are matched. I've read and loved Xavier Amador's excellent self-help book, "I'm Right, You're Wrong, Now What?" and the principles in Real's "Us" all build on the same foundation, but the examples in "Us" are all solely focused on a marital context: on watching a married couple (most of whom are on the verge of divorce) grapple with trying to heal their relationship and stay in their marriage or not.

Their story is told by both sides and not hard to figure they aren't anywhere near the same. Their relationship started in college and even though the signs were there, it didn't seem to matter. Grace is 30 years old and her life revolves around her art studio which is really struggling. She also has a twin sister who happens to work for Sight Unseen. The sisters made a promise years ago that if they reached 30 and didn’t weren’t in a relationship that they would start to focus on finding their true love. So, Hope talks Grace into letting her put her information into the Sight Unseen dating agency to find her a match. Next, try something called redistribution. What hurts you most in your partner’s actions is often something you’re secretly ashamed of in your own behavior. Say you hate your partner’s hot temper but respond with passive aggression. Well, that’s just another form of rage. Owning up to shared flaws can help you move past them.And guess what? Your partner has a core negative image of you too. In fact, you probably have a good idea of what that negative image looks like. Let’s say you’re a little disorganized. And that’s really frustrating to your type-A partner. When you miss important appointments, your partner’s core negative image of you is triggered. You’re thoughtless and entitled and spoiled and – the list goes on. Now, you’re riled up: you conveniently ignore there’s some truth to that image and opt to be outraged instead. How dare your partner think so little of you?! This was definitely a great book. It isn't as moving or as deeply impactful as "I Don't Want to Talk About It," but it's certainly one of the absolute best therapy books I've ever read. One last complaint. Alice, so utterly perfect in physical beauty and intelligence and wholesomeness blah blah blah. Do ya think if she were 5'2", 180 and had hairy moles on her ass and nose Paul would've fallen so desperately in love with her? Um, doubtful.

A brief regarding the plot: the book takes place in Fire Island and it develops around three characters: Riley, 24, who has never fully made the transition to adulthood, gifted in sports she has remained close to her childhood world; Paul has been Riley’s best friend, her match in physical activities and something of an older cruel brother to Alice; Alice, is Riley’s younger sister and a more complex character whose magic develops through the story. Paul and Alice fall in love and the first part of the novel is about them. Immersed in their pleasures, Alice and Paul don’t spend much time considering Riley. However, when Riley becomes suddenly ill, Alice is overwhelmed by guilt. She rushes from the island to the hospital to find Riley with congestive heart failure. Here, Riley extracts a promise: Alice will not tell Paul about her damaged heart. By the end, the characters have suffered losses, and their links to their childhoods have been discarded; they can no longer inhabit the Fire Island they knew, except in memory. In the absence of any objective criteria of right and wrong, good or evil, the self and its feelings become our moral guide…The right act is simply the one that yields the agent the most exciting challenge or the most good feeling about himself [sic]…. Utility replaces duty; self-expression unseats authority. “Being good” becomes “feeling good.” ‘

I see Sal writing Sal's review of 'Between You and Me' on Sal's computer and Sal types in the word but Sal doesn't know quite how to explain just how bloody awful this book is. So I punch Sal then tell Sal it is all Sal's fault for making me angry.

Grace and her sister had one of those pacts that they would put themselves out there for love by the time they reached 30. When Grace was still single and focused on her career, Hope convinced her to try Sight Unseen, the company she worked for, and she was matched with Sharp. I would recommend this one to anyone who's got the fortitude to deal with a so-real problem that exists for way too many people. Here’s what you need to know: when one “I” wins, the loser is always “us.” But it is possible to break free from toxic behaviors, to approach conflicts as wise adults, to stop thinking in terms of “I” – and reframe your relationship in terms of “us.”

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Maybe because she insists on justifying her characters so much. Everything they do is agonized over and defended.